DeAnne and Michelle Sherman, mother and daughter, penned a book focused on supporting those who have a loved one facing a mental illness or trauma. Photo: Michelle Sherman
A book penned by local authors strives to provide support to family and friends.
Mother-daughter duo DeAnne and Michelle Sherman have teamed up to write their third book, Loving Someone With a Mental Illness or History of Trauma: Skills, Hope, and Strength for Your Journey. The duo lends their personal and professional experiences to the topic with the goal of supporting family/friends of adults experiencing mental illness or trauma, who are often overlooked in these tricky family situations. “Our mission is that we see, hear, support and offer resources to families,” Michelle says.
Michelle is a psychologist who has dedicated her career to supporting families and developed a deep understanding of the challenges related to providing care for a loved one who is experiencing mental illness or trauma. “There continues to be stigma and shame, so we really wrote it with families in mind,” Michelle says. “Families in this situation have been ignored and neglected for far too long … We tried to put everything I’ve learned into an engaging and interactive setting.”
“We want to say that it’s important to care for your loved one, but that we want to focus on you and make sure that you’re looking at all those emotions you’re feeling, too,” DeAnne says.
DeAnne is a longtime Woodbury resident who has been a choreographer at Woodbury Community Theater for over 40 years. She was also a French teacher and owned the first dance studio in Woodbury. She brings her background in education and interpersonal skills to the book-writing process. “She helps me put things in language that people can understand and connect with,” Michelle says.
“My most important goal is if we could just move the caregiver just a couple inches to a different perspective: That it’s essential that you take care of yourself,” DeAnne says. This might look like keeping one night a week to yourself for book club, going for a walk or run or simply taking a deep breath.
The Shermans are trying to fill a gap in the literature that’s available specifically for family and friends. It’s important to acknowledge the experience of being a spouse, parent or sibling of an adult experiencing mental illness or trauma—this caregiving role is often not explicitly chosen or given but assumed because of love for the family member and loyal obligation to provide the required support. “We know that there’s a public health epidemic of loneliness, and caregivers feel alone due to stigma, time and being isolated. If your adult child is diagnosed with leukemia, your support system brings cookies, flowers and casseroles. But what if your adult child has a manic episode and needs to be hospitalized or attempts suicide? Your community usually doesn’t say anything or distances from you,” Michelle says.
The book includes stories and quotes from family and friends. It’s not meant to be read front-to-back but used as a resource with information presented both in writing and visually. “… We took the research, what we learned from families, what some of the skills are that they really need and put it into a journal form,” Michelle says. “It’s just not pages upon pages of text. There are exercises and activities, and stories from people with experiences.”
The Shermans’ books are available on Amazon or wherever books are sold.
