Lulu Song. Photo: Lulu Song
Grief doesn’t ask for permission; it simply shows up. Being unpredictable is partly what makes grief so unwieldy, but the other challenge is the widespread cultural preference for avoiding it entirely. Navigating difficult life transitions is also stressful, but underneath the stress, transition also involves loss. The grief of what might have been is different from the acute grief of losing a loved one, which is profound and heavy. “Sometimes life is just hard, and we all need support—and different kinds of support,” Lulu Song says.
Song is the founder of LuLuKuMu, which offers breathwork and partners with sound bath practitioners for group sessions. For her, the realization that breath could be a powerful tool of support came from an experience she had while attending a yoga and meditation retreat in Thailand. “Breathwork? But I already breathe!” she says, explaining how she responded at the time. As someone who has regularly practiced yoga and meditation, she reasoned that the attention on breath was already embedded, not something that warranted its own focus. Prior to her first breathwork session, she describes feeling a heaviness or a tightness in her chest. “I was stressed and uncertain—I was lost. I expected it to be relaxing, but it was transformative,” she says. “In just one hour, I felt lighter, clearer, as if I had been reset.”
The emotional release that occurs through breathwork isn’t ethereal, it’s physiological. “For me, everything needs to be rooted in science,” Song says. Her education and training is evident in her thoughtful explanation. Certain techniques activate different functions of the nervous system. Slow, nasal breathing and structured practices like box breathing (breathing in, holding and breathing out, each for a count of four) activate the parasympathetic nervous system and signal the body to relax, reducing blood pressure, cortisol levels and heart rate.
Apart from the immediate benefits for stress reduction and overall wellness, the guided breathwork sessions with Song provide a safe and supportive environment to process grief and trauma. Grief work involves what is referred to as “pain sitting,” Song says, which is the intentional choice to remain present with discomfort rather than avoid it. “Focusing on breath gives the mind something to anchor to,” she says. That steadiness allows difficult emotions to rise to the surface, and the breath itself signals safety to the body. This makes it possible to “drop the armor,” Song says.
Grief-focused breathwork requires deep respect and compassion, not to mention in-depth training. In addition to her background in psychology and biochemistry, Song is trained in trauma-informed care practices and is certified in clinical hypnotherapy. She feels a tremendous responsibility to every person she works with. “No one has it all together,” she says. “We all struggle.” Being human is beautiful but also challenging and messy; instead of masking the grief or dismissing it, the invitation is to share it. Through that invitation and through the support Song provides, it is possible to make space for both grief and gratitude.
LuLuKuMu
Instagram: @lulukumu_
